Happy Halloween!

I always loved Halloween growing up, and I’m excited for a couple of Halloween parties this weekend. I’m actually hosting one tomorrow!

I’m a little anxious about the party tonight, because I probably won’t know many people and it’s hosted by a friend of a friend (and I haven’t really hung out much with the original friend in a while). Hopefully I’m not too nervous and awkward

I haven’t done a ton of preparing or planning for the party tomorrow. Party planning reminds me of wedding planning, which is a really sensitive subject right now (I’m not ready to write about that yet). I need to do a lot of cleaning, throw up some decorations, and cook, but hopefully it isn’t too stressful. It’s not a very big party so it shouldn’t be too bad I think.

Happy Halloween to anyone who happens to come across this post!

My first adult ballet class

I tried out a ballet workshop this week, and I definitely did not remember as much as I thought from ballet classes in middle school! The girls in the class seemed pretty nice and fun and around their 20’s – early 30’s, although I didn’t really talk to anyone. I also arrived a couple of minutes late and it was super awkward when I walked into the class and everyone was already at the barre. Then I dropped my chapstick while I was getting out my ballet shoes, and it rolled across the floor while everyone was watching… it was pretty embarrassing. Luckily someone else arrived about 5 minutes later, so at least I wasn’t the last one to come in. I’m definitely going to get there early next time!

Books and Ballet

I signed up for a ballet workshop that starts next week. I’m excited for a new activity, but I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I took ballet until I was in about 8th grade, and I think I still remember a decent amount, although I have no balance, coordination, or flexibility anymore. I’m a little worried that the class could have a lot of teenagers though, because the workshop is for adults ages 15 and up.

I also joined a book club, and I’m excited to meet new people and hopefully make some friends. Unfortunately, the next meeting isn’t for a month.

Besides that… I’m still trying to get over the things I’ve been feeling sad about lately. I’m trying to be more positive, and I’ve been sleeping better, so hopefully I’m starting to heal. I still am extremely angry at myself for the terrible decisions I made this year. I want to make up for everything by trying to become a better person, and I need to be a happier wife for my husband.

Hi, nice to meet you :)

I am completely new to blogging, and I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m a thirty year old female, and I’ve been reflecting a lot on my life in the past couple of months. I have a lot of regrets and mistakes that I’ve made, and I’m currently feeling a little bit lost about my future.

I’m starting this blog to try something new, and maybe I can find others who are going through or have gone through a rut in their thirties or at any age and we can help each other.

I’m not sure if writing about my past failures and reflecting on them will help me find closure, but I’ll give it a shot and hopefully it will be good for me to open up, even if it’s just on an anonymous blog. I have a tendency to focus on the past too much and I know I need to move forward, so I’m planning to try out new activities and classes and write about those as well. Part of my problem is that I’m not passionate about my career or any hobbies right now, but hopefully I’ll start figuring it out as I throw myself into new experiences.

Thanks for reading!